It is not so much what others do that matters. It is more about how you respond to them. If they are being critical, you may want to inspect your actions and discover what you might be doing to challenge their values. When someone criticizes me I look for where someone is simultaneously praising me and awaken to the ever present balance in the universe. We need both sides to center us. If we get manic, elated, cocky or above the equilibrium point we attract criticism to humble back to the center – our true authentic self. I ask how does their criticism serve me and discover the hidden benefits and then their criticism becomes my feedback to guide me back to my most powerful self. When we become addicted to praise we attract criticism to liberate us from our addiction. Praise can make us dependent, while criticism can make us stronger and independent.
In order to handle criticism you have to know yourself.
How do you know yourself?
1) Complete the value determination questionnaire.
If you live by other peoples values you will end up minimising yourself and you will take criticism personally.
If we do not live by a balanced perception of ourselves and of other people we will inflate or deflate ourselves relative to others and others will be able to break us down. If we maintain a balanced perception of ourselves and other people, others will not be able to break us down.
Refer to the Breakthrough Experience.
2) Have goals and be goal orientated.
If you are progressively seeing that you are making progress with your goals, others cannot break you down.
Refer to Goal Setting.
Here are some more tips on how to handle criticism:
- Determine if the criticism is constructive or destructive.
- Do not react immediately. If you react from a moment of emotions you will regret it later,
- Ask questions. Rephrase what you have heard the other person saying. Sometimes we just misunderstand what somebody has said,
- Remember to separate your emotions from the facts. Is your reaction based on your past fears future fantasies?
- Remember criticism is not about you only. People interpret what you do and say from their own point of view and experiences.
If you live by your values, you will perceive constructive criticism as a positive feedback to improving or refining your values.
Contact Mira in order to determine and refine your values so that you can improve how you handle criticism.